Quickly approaching is our third anniversary. While that is VERY exciting, it also makes me nervous. Scott asked me if we could go to dinner alone. And leave Cohen with grandparents. I don't think he (Cohen) is ready for this. When he gets sleepy/fussy, he wants me ONLY and gets more frantic the longer he isn't with me. I know grandparents are more than capable of caring for him even if he would get like this with them, but how the heck am I going to enjoy dinner with my husband when I'm worried sick about my babe? I know I'm the exception and most moms my age wouldn't think twice about doing this, but I'm different. I enjoy my babe and providing for his needs so much. And, I truly believe that putting in so much effort now will pay off in the long run.
And it's not that I won't ever leave him, but I just feel he's still so young and that somehow would feel betrayed and abandoned if he got hysterical and I wasn't there. I don't know, maybe I'm just crazy.
And I also don't want to neglect my husband either. He needs and wants me too and has in many ways been put more on the backburner lately.
And... I know it's OUR anniversary, but I feel like it is the start of our family that we are celebrating, and Cohen is a part of that.
I just don't know what to do. I suggested maybe I just cook and we could bring Cohen to his parents for a bit for us to eat just the two of us.
Arghh. Why do I feel like such a freak for not wanting to leave my baby for even just an hour??
Boo.