Eh.

I'm having a down day today.  I guess there's just a lot weighing on my mind.  And with lack of close friends to talk to I suppose it just stays a little heavier on my mind.  It's not a bad day per se.  Nothing happened really to make me down.  It's just another one of those days where I just feel like I'm on standstill waiting to see what happens.  Like I can't move forward yet because of this reason or that.

I really want to clean/organize/declutter our living space.  But, it's pointless if we are going to be moving out fairly soon.  I want to babyproof, but yet again, pointless if we won't be here when Cohen becomes mobile.

I want a friend. (Ha, I sound pathetic.)  A mom friend.

I am ready for Cohen to be a little less dependent.  At least let me put him down for naps occasionally.  I guess I should try more.  (Please, no cry it out advice, I won't have any of that.  I've done the research and crying it out is not for us.  I'll be happy to enlighten you on my reasons why if you'd like, but my decision has been made and I won't be swayed.)  I want to sew.  Or at least be able to wash and change the sheets now instead of having to wait for him to wake up.

I read an article today about "smart" children and their attitudes in life and I think that's got me down.  It talked about when a child is told that they're smart all the time, it pretty much sets them up to be so scared of failure that they don't even try if they can't be great at something from the get-go.  Well, that's me.  The whole article is me.  I am terrified of failing.  I'm a perfectionist.  I lack confidence.  And I seem to be very irritable today. 

Okay, I'm done.  I just needed to vent a little.  Thanks for reading.